People often here the words “marriage counseling” and they cringe. Why? Because no one wants to admit there is ever anything wrong in their marriage. These are probably the same couples you see on social media smiling joyfully on vacation, with their 2.5 kids and dog. But then you’ll hear those same people say “no marriage is perfect” and “every marriage has problems”. So then why not accept that ALL married couples (and many on their way to the altar) need counseling? Unfortunately this is because of the word “counseling” and the stigmas attached to it. So let’s start changing the way we look at marriage counseling by changing the name and calling it “marriage maintenance” because after all, that is really what it is.
When you take your car to the dealer to have its oil changed, tune up, tire rotation, and alignment, you are performing maintenance on your car. Sure once in a while the car’s radiator or water pump breaks down but you love your car and you want to keep it, so you get it fixed. Now I know, a marriage is more than a car. We go into a marriage (hopefully most of us do) ‘until death do us part’, and a car is a temporary material thing, which makes my point even stronger. If you take the time to take your car, a temporary, material thing in for maintenance or get it fixed, why wouldn’t you take a marriage into counseling in order to improve your relationship?
A marriage counselor is there for those times when you and your partner are not on the same page and just can’t seem to find a “happy medium”. A marriage counselor is there to iron out the kinks in communication issues, maybe re-frame something for one of you in a way that the other will finally understand. A marriage counselor is there to be a mediator for you when no one wants to raise the white flag. A marriage counselor will help strengthen your relationship so that when you face the world, you’re a united front. And so much more.
Going in for "marriage maintenance" is not admitting defeat in your marriage, it is quite the opposite, it is saying “I love you and I want to be a better partner, lover, communicator and anything else you need from me”, it is also saying “I want to continue to live up to the vows I made when I married you”.
If you and your partner would like to come in for some “marriage maintenance” call or email me for appointment availability 407-561-2174 firstname.lastname@example.org
Sending you peace and blessings, Claudia Abalo LMHC