• Claudia Abalo, LMHC

Before You Say I Do...

So why do we get married? Is it deeply rooted in cultural or religious beliefs? Do we have to get married? Can we just live with the person we love for the rest of our lives?

All of the answers are truly up to you. Most people marry as a way to declare their love for the one person that they have found makes them happier than anyone else. Marriage, for many, is the biggest way to also declare their commitment to that one person. It is saying “I want to spend the rest of my life, building, creating, being with you and only you” and many people do this declaring in front of family, friends, during religious ceremonies which for them solidify their declaration. Do we have to get married to the one we love? NO. But do we want to? That is the true question.

Is marriage a business? Sure it is. I was a wedding planner and I can tell you, it sure is. However, so is everything else in this world. Having a baby is a business, dying is a business. But getting married does not have to be expensive or extravagant. Again, the answers are truly up to you. What do you want? If you just want to marry the person you love, obtain a marriage license, which is anywhere from $10 to less than $125 at your local courthouse, have a judge, or a justice of the peace, or a clergy person, or even a lay person who obtains special authorization in your state to marry, and have them perform a simple ceremony in the presence of two witnesses and you are married.

But weddings are soooo pretty! Oh, they sure are. Especially brides. Oh they are breathtaking aren’t they? I can’t tell you one wedding I have been to or planned where I did not cry as the bride walked down the aisle. I think if there is one thing we can compare brides to, it is what we envision angels in heaven to look like. Just breathtaking. Ok, back to what I was saying.

Now before you say I do, I have to warn you. There are going to be people left and right telling you what to do and what not to do for your wedding; the size of the wedding, the colors, who to invite, what food to have, how many tiers the cake should have, don’t wear long sleeves in the spring, ugh! The list goes on and on. It can be overwhelming. Planning a wedding can bring out the worst in people, especially you and your partner, which is heartbreaking because sometimes you’ll end up fighting about centerpieces! Really? Are we really arguing over centerpieces? At the end of the day what you have to CONSTANTLY remember is that, it is YOUR DAY and to have what YOU WANT ON YOUR DAY. Even if someone in the family is helping to pay for the wedding, that does not mean they have a say in colors or fabrics or food or liquor. It is YOUR DAY!

If you decide to marry the one you love and plan a beautiful wedding and life together, you’re going to need PREMARITAL COUNSELING. It is important that you get the coping skills you need for the anxiety you’re going to feel and assertiveness skills to deal with the pressure you’re going to get in the coming days, weeks, and months as you plan for your big day. Then as you begin your journey together, you’re going to need a plan as to how you’re going to handle certain situations that arise; expectations for married life, communication skills, resolving conflicts, financial issues, purchasing a home, raising children, in-laws/family involvement, religious differences, changing jobs/careers, illness, and many more.

I am here for you, to help you and guide you through all of the above and more.

Call 407-561-2174 for appointment availability and let’s get prepared as you start your life together.

Sending you peace and blessings,

Claudia Abalo